


Broken Mask Serves You No More

by Ammyarant



Category: Guilty Gear
Genre: Catholic Guilt, F/M, M/M, exploring what ky's eye means, featuring a lot of bad things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22400212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ammyarant/pseuds/Ammyarant
Summary: How it started, Ky didn't know. But a Gear's strength to protect his country, his love, his family... it wasn't unwelcome. At the same time, he wasn't quite sure what would happen to him.Neither did Dizzy or Sol.If only they knew what horrors it would bring.
Relationships: Dizzy/Ky Kiske, Sol Badguy/Ky Kiske
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

Destruction. As far as the eye could see. Dust and ash filtered through the air, turning what little sunlight that escaped the clouds into a haze. The ruins of once standing buildings crumbled, the fires within consuming the wood until all that was left was unsteady stone. A brief breeze caught the ash, spinning it in delicate patterns among the horrifying scene.

The breeze ran through a skirt, ruffling it over bloodstained legs. Long hair, once beautiful, cherished, lay knotted over a beloved face, matted with too much blood. Fingers, reached out to a beloved saviour that would never be, now rested still, never to move again. Another's hand lay next to it, the bridal gloves holding a shotgun still emitting the scent of gunpowder. Across the scene, more bodies, splattered with blood almost artistically stretched, weapons scattered among them.

The air held thick brimstone and ozone. Crumbling walls bore scorch marks, careless in battle. Where some burned, others sparked, the charge still not dissipating. Each flickered through the air, each eerily beautiful and chilling in their own right.

Destruction.

A failed battle, stretching far beyond sight. A doomed battle.

"Ky?"

A blink, and Dizzy's face came into focus, no longer covered in blood, her hair falling lovely and clean as usual. The room around her resolved into opulence, the attempt at a modest living space quickly overrun by what was expected. Dizzy straightened, concern still writ on her face. "The tea is ready," she told him, the sway of the bow on her tail punctuating her words.

He suppressed the urge to glance around, telling himself the room was exactly how he expected it to be. "Ah. Thank you, Dizzy," he said warmly.

"Are you okay?" she asked, loosely clasping her hands before her. "You looked like you were daydreaming."

Perhaps he had been. Even now, the memory of what his eyes had seen were unravelling into threads, drifting away in the flow of his thoughts. Ky looked down at his hands, blanching at the pool of ink left behind by an unmoving quill. Paperwork was mind numbing, yes, but drifting away into waking dreams was not permissible. Though, maybe this was a hint he should take a break. And conveniently, his own wife offered one in the form of a comforting beverage. He looked over, seeing Sin sitting carelessly on the couch, chatting happily with a smiling Elphelt and confused Ramlethal. "Only daydreaming," he assured her. That had to be what happened.

Ky stood, intent on joining them. A brief break would be welcomed. He took his seat across from his son, smiling as Sin laughed at something Ramlethal said. Elphelt clapped her hands, giggling as Ramlethal blinked, a small smile tilting her lips.

It was a wonderful sight. Warmth settled in his chest as he reached for his teacup. Gossamer threads of the daydream settled over his mind, light enough that it seemed merely as if they were faint memories of old battles. Perhaps that was what the daydream had been. A memory of sword in hand, taking down hostile Gears. Ky took a small sip, testing the heat of the liquid within. The scent of the tea rose, as welcome and soothing as the taste lingering on his tongue.

A slow throb started in his head as he relaxed, pain starting to dully pulse on the left side of his skull. The break was more than needed, Ky realized, if he was starting to realize the headache that had come to nest. It wasn't enough to keep him from finishing his paperwork, thankfully. 

But until he returned to that…

Ky took another sip, his own smile crossing his lips.

  


* * *

  


"I'm sorry."

Ky blinked, resisting the urge to turn to Dizzy in concern as he felt the cold blunt edge of the scissors against his neck, the soft snipping sound familiar by now. "Dizzy…?"

He felt her gentle hand brush away more clipped hair, adding it to the pile of golden strands under him. For a moment, she remained quiet, finishing evening the edges, knowing in the morning it would be long enough to require pulling back in the morning. Finally, Ky turned, clasping her hands. She looked silently down, then closed her eyes.

"This isn't your fault," he told her gently, lifting one hand, the one free of the scissors to his lips. "And I wouldn't change a thing."

She pulled her hand free, turning her fingers to cup his cheek. "Does it bother you?"

A question different from the answer he gave her. Her fingers were warm against his skin, gently stroking next to his left eye. "Not at this time," he assured her.

"Please let me know if it does," she whispered, leaning forward. He met her, resting his forehead against hers. "I couldn't bear if you-"

"Shh." Ky pulled her close, holding her. "It'll be okay."

After a moment, she relaxed into his arms. Ky pressed his lips against her hair, knowing why she worried. There was no guarantee what would become of him. He should be immune to the call of Commander Gears, but none could say for certain what would happen. And… Ky closed his eyes. There was nothing that could be said for what sort of Gear he would become. For the moment, he held onto a human form, a human heart. But when his vision flickered red, the otherworldly strength flowing into him…

Would he retain his human form once it reached every part of him? Would he grow twisted, monstrous? He knew Gears weren't the monsters he had been raised to believe, the monsters he had told himself he was cutting down. The woman in his arms, the boy snoring in bed, the sisters unable to tear apart from each other, the man once a bitter rival… they were not monsters. But he didn't know if the type of Gear he would become would be the same.

Or perhaps… he would never change. His human heart would never be subsumed by the otherworldly cells growing within him.

But he wouldn't change anything. Not for the strength to protect his people, his love, his family.

  


* * *

  


"Hn. I should have guessed you'd be here."

Ky's fingers quickly touched the sign of the cross before he stood, turning to see Sol standing right outside the chapel. "Do you want something?" Ky asked, leaving his voice mild, free of any hostility. Interruptions during prayer were sadly common, being the public figurehead of royalty. Though, he never expected to see Sol to be the one interrupting him.

Sol only shrugged. "Figured I'd see what you're up to," he told him. "See if that eye is giving you problems."

Unbidden, his fingers touched his cheek, just under his eye. "It's remained dormant," he told Sol, dropping his hand.

After a moment, Sol let out a humourless chuckle. "Of course it has," he said. "Shouldn't have expected anything else from the great Ky Kiske."

Ky's eyes narrowed. But he wasn't about to start this argument in the house of God. Instead, he walked past Sol, indicating with a nod to follow him. Sol's heavy footsteps sounded behind him as they walked, making their way to a more secluded location. "Dare I ask why you're trying to rile me up?" he finally asked, turning to speak to Sol.

A wild smirk graced Sol's lips, his eyes considering as he stared at Ky. "You're not that dumb."

"You won't find a fight here," Ky warned him. "Perhaps another time."

"Ch." Sol rubbed his head, the smirk not leaving his lips. "Do I need to insult your woman again to get you to drop that human façade and fight me?"

Unexpectedly, the words stabbed deeply. While he had not taken the insult towards Dizzy, giving Sol the fight he had so dearly wanted all along, that perhaps was the thing that hit him the least in that brief sentence spoken in that rough voice. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, his voice growing tight, cold. He understood why Sol wanted the fight, he even welcomed the reason behind it, but speaking such words…

"Exactly what I said. You're not going deaf too, are you?"

"This isn't a façade," he snapped.

"Heh."

Anger roiled through his veins, familiar when it came to dealing with Sol. "I don't know what you're trying to say," he snapped. "However, I am still human."

Sol chuckled again at that. "Maybe if I took samples they'd still say you're human," he told him. "But-"

"Be careful how you end that sentence."

Instead of finishing, Sol only met his gaze, the look held within speaking enough for him. It wasn't the Gear cells within him Sol was speaking of. The man spoke of something deeper, something he had told Ky before insulting Dizzy. Of how Ky conducted himself on the battlefield, his blade against Gears.

Ky narrowed his eyes, then closed them, taking deep breaths. "No matter how much you want this to be a battlefield between us, it isn't one," he said, opening his eyes. "I have no desire to kill you."

Sol finally frowned at that. "You may not have a choice at some point." He stepped closer, close enough that Ky could feel the heat, unnatural, coming from Sol's skin. "But if you want to play pretend for a little longer…"

Ky's hand twitched.

They stood as such, near touching, neither willing to yield. Ky felt his heart quicken, beating harder in his chest, his body tensing for something growing between them. A tension, eager to snap. A draw, a hook in his left eye reeled in by Sol-

"Hey." Oh. That was Sol's hand on his chest, five points of scorching heat. When had that happened? When Ky lifted his gaze, he saw the concern lurking in Sol's eyes. Then, they narrowed, something passing in them Ky couldn't read. "Hm. You sure your eye isn't giving you problems?"

As if summoned by Sol's words, a sharp lancing pain sliced through his skull, pulsing in his left eye. "It's nothing," he grit out. "Only a headache."

Sol lowered his hand. "I see."

And like that, the tension flowed away, leaving them merely men speaking instead of on the edge of battling. "Is there anything else you wish to speak to me about, Sol?"

"Yeah. Take care of yourself. Don't need you falling over during a real battle."

Ky couldn't help but chuckle at that, despite the pain it brought. "Ah."

And with that, Sol turned, not even bothering with a wave as he left.


	2. Chapter 2

Having his eyes examined for a physical was uncomfortable enough, Ky thought. But how the bright light pierced through his left eye, as if it was more sensitive than the right… but that could only make sense. The eye burned crimson when strength flowed in him. But even then, the uncomfortable stab of the bright light shining hurt, nearly lancing through his head. Ky blinked rapidly as the light lowered, afterimages floating in his vision as the nurse added notes. "The doctor will be with you soon," he told him, closing his file.

"Thank you." He forced the words to be spoken firmly, forced them to be more than the pained murmur he wanted them to be. Soon, he's left alone, the sounds of the medical facility dulled by the closed door. Left alone with the circling thoughts, and familiar questions. Once upon a time, he had wielded Thunderseal, a weapon himself pointed at the endless threat of Gears. He had viewed them as monsters, striking them down with ease. Sol himself had noted how he fought against what he perceived to be monsters, and the memory of the cold ruthlessness that guided his blade juxtaposed with the crimson Gear eye he now wore.

His fingers wrapped around the crucifix dangling from his throat. Did God forgive him his hypocrisy? For killing what he became? Did He take mercy on his confused heart? Did He forgive him when he took a monster, a Gear, to his bed, unwed? For having a child, his own blood mixed with Gear, out of wedlock?

No amount of prayer brought this answer. Ky lifted the crucifix to his lips, gently kissing it, before releasing it and letting the symbol fall on its chain once more. Perhaps he would only know the answer upon his death, upon his final judgement. But… he pressed a hand to his chest, the sharp overwhelming pain of bullets a mere phantom of a memory now. If he could survive that, what would it take to cut him down?

"In his name, my God, have mercy," Ky whispered.

Silence. Ky closed his eyes, reaching inside himself, listening for the voice of God, His hand leading him-

The click of the door opened his eyes. The doctor stood there, clad in red scrubs and a blindingly white robe, a folder in her hand. "Your Majesty," the doctor greeted, seating herself across from him.

"Dr. Dupont."

"There have been no changes from last time, Sire," she told him. Her dark fingers rifled through the papers, landing on one. "It appears the Gear infection has come to a halt."

Infection. The word used to explain what was inside him.

But at the same time, could it be considered anything else? He had been human. And now he healed at an inhuman rate, and could tap into unnatural strength. He could still be considered human, but… his thoughts returned to Sol's words. Ky had proclaimed his humanity to Sol, but the words had stuck with him, echoing each time he caught his reflection. Was the humanity he wore a façade?

"However," Dr. Dupont continued, dragging his attention back to her words. "I would recommend keeping an eye on it and returning for testing. With the battles you fought and will fight, I would like to keep track of how it impacts the Gear infection, Sire."

"Certainly."

  


* * *

  


Ky wouldn't deny the scent of sweat in Dizzy's hair was his favourite part, after bringing her over the edge of climax over and over until she rested in his arms, exhausted and satisfied. One hand reached down, pressing against her flat belly, remembering when it swelled as their son grew within her, how beautiful she looked then.

A pleased sound hummed past Dizzy's lips, and Ky smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple. Soon enough, she slipped into a doze. But instead of following her as he usually did, his mind twisted and turned with thoughts. Dizzy loved him no matter what, despite the Gears he had slaughtered during the war. The hand on her belly twitched, the proof of their love laying in his own bed within their estate.

Slowly, Ky stood, shifting Dizzy to lay comfortably as his fingers reached out, pulling a nearby robe on and easily tying the knot to keep it closed before going to the window. It was a gorgeous night, he thought.

Sol would laugh at him. The Gear had never had much love for faith, perhaps a product of living as long as he had. He would laugh at the twisting thoughts, poking at the guilt winding through each one, at the prayers to God for answers. Ky felt his lips turn in a smile, almost fondly. At one point he would have been offended. Now… Sol's faith or lack of meant nothing.

Ky's fingers touched the glass pane.

Blood ran down, thick and crimson. The scent of death choked the air, the spaces between waves filled with brimstone and ozone. Glass shattered, the world around him breaking-

A blink, and the world resolved into rolling hills, dark in the night, and his own reflection looking back at him, one eye burning crimson.


	3. Chapter 3

Though Ky had been made aware of holding back against Sol, to consider Sol as a monster, to put forth the same deadly force as he did during the war was impossible. The Gear had fought at his side, tainting his view of him as friendly, not a monster to be killed. While his temper had spiked when Sol called Dizzy a monster, he had still held back from killing him.

Which now meant that Sol was glaring at him, the two of them having fought to a standstill. "What are you doing?" Sol barked out. "I'm not even sweating here."

Not true, but he knew what he meant. Ky wasn't pushing him hard enough to the point he could even consider Dragon Install. However… what else could he do? He couldn't just… want to kill Sol. Even insulting Dizzy didn't put killing rage inside him. Ky doubted even if Sol insulted everyone living under his roof he would be able to kill the other man. With that thought, he lowered Magnolia Eclair II, his eyes settling on the shattered edge of the hilt. Maybe he'd take Sol more seriously if he had the Thunderseal in hand, he thought distantly.

"Heh. Giving up already?"

"It's not as easy as you think to consider killing you," Ky told him, voice spiked with irritation.

Sol scratched his head, letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, I suppose."

Ky tilted his gaze away. He wasn't sure Sol had learned what he wanted to from fighting him. For certain, he had been unconsciously holding back the entire time, not wanting to kill his ally. He wondered if that was enough, what he could offer Sol.

Pain throbbed through his left eye, and he hissed, putting a hand to it. Distantly, he could hear Sol's voice, but something about the pain pushed the world away to where only he existed, pain lancing through his head and veins buzzing-

Scorching heat surrounded his hand, pulling it away. More heat touched his face, forcing his eye open. "Red," came the irritated murmur. "You idiot. Why didn't you tell me your eye was bothering you?"

"Because it isn't," Ky said, his eye focusing on Sol's frowning face.

Sol's eyes narrowed. "Then you activated it? Thinking about finally taking me seriously using that strength and speed?"

He could. Press Sol using unnatural strength, forcing him into Dragon Install…

Ky lowered his gaze.

Then shifted ever so slightly to arc electricity between them, reminiscent of, yet not quite a Vapor Thrust. As he expected, Sol let him go, a wild grin on his lip as he jumped back. "Hah! Knew it," Sol called out. Ky could see him shift, readying the Junkyard Dog MK III… only to jump back, surprise taking his face at Ky's speed, dodging the swing and resulting lightning.

The world flew under him, lighting turning into more. He sent a Stun Edge right at Sol's face, but lightning gathered under his feet as well, forming platforms that pushed him forward even faster than he normally could move. Sparks flashed, both electric and fire, as their swords, their magic clashed. Skill, ability flowed away as brutality took its place. Sol grinned, Ky pressed-

And Magnolia Eclair II hit the ground, lighting fuelling his steps as he darted forward. Sol's eyes widened as Ky reached for him, wild, animal-

"Damn! Damn it, Kiske!"

Oh. That was the ground. Ky growled, barely noticing to himself that the sound wasn't like himself, wasn't human, wasn't-

Sol. Held him down. Held him like a rabid animal is blood ran thick around them, destruction-

A gasp heaved through Ky's chest.

"Che." Sol didn't let up, but he did shake his head. "And you said the eye wasn't bothering you."

"It's… not," Ky managed, too stunned to feel mortified. Each moment of the battle remained crystal clear in his mind, even as he lost himself, lost everything that made him-

He gagged, the contents of his stomach roiling. Sol let him go, watching him warily as Ky fought back the need to vomit, shifting to his side in case he lost the fight. But it never came, and Ky let himself relax back into the grass, staring up at the blue sky.

Sol sat next to him, and Ky turned his head, taking in the frown. "This the first time this has happened?" Sol asked.

Ky nodded.

Sol didn't answer, but Ky could almost see the thoughts flying through his head, calculating what had just happened, what it meant, and what to do next.

Finally, Sol reached out, forcing Ky's left eye wide open. "Blue," he muttered. "How are you feeling?" he asked as released Ky's face.

How was he feeling? There were so many emotions, feelings, just states of being coursing through him. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I suppose the easiest to say is in pain."

"From being smashed around or that eye?"

"A headache. Maybe from the eye."

"Hm."

He had lost himself, acted like a Gear- no, worse. He had acted like a monster-

This time, when his stomach heaved, he couldn't stop it from coming up.

  


* * *

  


"Ky?" Dizzy's sleepy voice made him jump and turn away from the window. Even after the day he had, the doctor's visit after the battle with Sol to determine what was happening more draining than he expected, and yet it left him unable to sleep. What was inside of him? What was happening?

But none of that came to his lips. Instead, he went back to the bed, laying down and pulling her close. "I'm here."

Instead of responded to that, Dizzy reached up, touching his face. Ky turned into the touch, kissing her palm. "Were you praying?"

Ky shook his head. "Thinking," he told her.

"I see." Dizzy stroked his cheek with her thumb, worry writ in her face.

Maybe he should pray. He couldn't find the answers within himself. Pray for guidance, for forgiveness…

Dizzy let her hand drop, clasping one of his instead. "I'm sorry."

Ky shook his head. "It's not your fault." He lifted her hand to his lips briefly. "None of this could ever be your fault, my love."

Doubt cast shadows on Dizzy's face. "Ky…"

He squeezed her hand, trying to convey his meaning. She was not at fault. Not for the Gear cells inside of him, nor for what was happening now. None of this could ever be her fault.

Dizzy's eyes started to drift closed, the slow slip into sleep relaxing her features. "Please don't blame yourself," she murmured. "Please…"

Ky didn't answer. Any comforting words he could tell her would be a lie.

Instead he closed his eyes as Dizzy slept, calling out to God silently. Praying for help, guidance, forgiveness…

"Please. Bless us."


End file.
